Dr. Fauci + me- a comparison trap

It was an August morning in 2023 and I remember fumbling around for my phone and seeing an unknown number. For some reason I picked it up.

It wasn’t spam.

It was a member of Bet Mishpachah, the LGBTQ+ Synagogue in Washington, DC sharing that I was being honored with the Harvey Milk Chesed Award in honor of my work uplifting the Jewish value of chesed (lovingkindness) and working to expand social justice, including LGBTQ+ inclusion in the community. 

I’ll be honest, I was surprised!

I’m very proud of the work that I do to build community, uplift justice movements and advocate for building a more inclusive and compassionate world, but I felt a bit green and early in my career of social justice to receive this honor. Plus, I had only recently felt very out & proud as a member of the LGBTQ+ community to be given such an esteemed award.

Nonetheless, I received my award and felt beaming to see friends, family and colleagues gathered to celebrate.

Last month, I got an email invitation to the 2025 Harvey Milk Chesed Award and learned that the acclaimed Dr. Anthony Fauci was being awarded it this year.

I’ll be honest, I giggled! I joked around with folks that Dr. Fauci was following in MY FOOTSTEPS.

I’m very proud of the work I do, but by no means has my life had the breadth of impact like Dr. Fauci.

But as I sat in the auditorium for the awards ceremony last week, it really hit me. What a privilege to be honored with such an award back in 2023 and to be in such exceptional company.

I know that professionally and personally, I’ve been honored to work with and serve some amazing humans… including many of you and break the mold. I know I have made an impact for the positive in many people's lives.

I’ll never have the SAME impact that Dr. Fauci has had, but why in the world am I trying to compare the breadth of my work's impact like Dr. Fauci?

My path is unique. As is his.

It reminded me of Michelle Obama sitting down with Oprah back in early 2020. 

Michelle reflected about attending a retreat, where there were daily hikes. Michelle spent lots of energy worrying about her pace. And came to the conclusion that, “Stop comparing yourself to the person walking ahead of you or behind you. Walk your walk.”

It’s easy to compare yourself to others to find the cracks to say: I am not enough. It takes a lot of love to shift gears and embrace the honor, the identity, the opportunity. 

On theme of comparison that stops you receiving the beauty that life is offering you… I hear so many women share that …

“I’m not a cyclist because…..”

• I feel unbalanced riding

• I haven’t ridden enough

• I’m not hardcore enough 

And when you push away that identity, it’s more likely that you won’t shift gears and hop in the saddle and enjoy the joy & freedom that biking can be. 

Personally, I am a cyclist because…

• I enjoy biking

• it’s a meaningful way for me to explore and move my body

I made that inner shift to claim this sport and identity for myself and I’d love for you to, too!

Won’t you come shift gears with me on Pedal, Paddle & Pause in Ohiopyle, Pennsylvania July 18-20th?

If you’re an outdoorsy woman who is ready to navigate the turbulent waters of today rooted in your well-being, then join Circle and Spoke for a retreat where you are going to come away grounded in your resilience and a sisterhood of compassionate, adventurous souls.

This is more than just a weekend of camping, whitewater rafting and biking. It's a guided retreat to support you in tapping into resilience and soul-sister friendships long after the weekend concludes. 

The biking will be leisurely, picturesque and flat along the stunning Great Allegheny Passage and we’ll dive into adventure and community as we raft along the fun and exhilarating Yough River, which has many Class III Rapids. 

So, what’s stopping you from jumping in the boat? 

Prices go up next Monday, July 19th at 5pm, so learn more and sign up today! 

Wheels up,

Ellen

PS- Bike to Work Day in DC is this Thursday, May 15th. Come stop by Franklin Park in DC from 7-9am. Get your Bike to Work T-shirt and we have a fun activity of writing & sharing pep talks. Learn more & register here

PPS-Last month I attended this awesome IRL dating event, the feels.

I heard about it via a favorite newsletter of mine and showed up with an heart open. The event was involved mindfulness, legit a-ha’s of what feels flirty + fun for me and connecting with some kind hearted souls with exceptional facilitation (I’m not one to lob said compliment casually).

Since when did someone in your life give such a positive review of a dating event??

Go get your flirt + fun on…. and yes, there’s something even for my fellow queers 💘 

I love spreading the love, so I touched based with the team at the feels and use code circleandspoke for 20% off their upcoming DC events (and folks, there’s no kick back for me here…)

Here is the ticket link for DC Queer Event on May 21st!

Here is the ticket link for hetero edition happening on May 22nd

Can’t wait to hear what juicy awesomeness comes from you showing up!

And use the code circleandspoke for 20% off